WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is about all I can say about that. This was a first for me. I have truly never experienced anything like what happened on Sunday evening in Scotland USA. So many good people. I have never been so touched by outpouring of love in one place, and definitely have never been on the receiving end of anything like it. I just can't say enough good things about all of our friends and family who were able to help make the event possible, and to be there to share it with us. Absolutely no way that Thank You is enough to all of you who worked so hard. I hope everyone enjoyed themselves and had an abundance of great food, great fellowship, great entertainment and great fun as they were all plentiful last night.

Several people asked about the band last night. Pam (the lone female vocalist!) is a friend of mine from Labor and Delivery. (She is also the mother of Melissa, our friend and young mother that has been battling oral cancer. She loves to sing and has been performing here and there recently. She sings with this band fairly regularly. Their name is SOUTHERN RAIN. They sing every Monday in Bowie as well as other places. The steel guitar player was from another band called the Troubadours (sp???), and the regular drummer was not able to play with them last night. I think they did a fabulous job and they were all so kind to come out of the goodness of their heart to entertain us. Thanks Pam for the wonderful surprise. We love you. Many prayers for all of you that Melissa's scans next week are clear!!! AMEN!!!!

Thanks again to everyone
We love you all so much!!!

WooHoooo!!!!

Go Trojans!!!! And weren't we blessed with magnificent weather. It was absolutely a gorgeous day to watch a football game! Congrats to the Moguls on your win also. How great is that to have such quality teams in the same area still in the playoffs. It is too bad that only one team can continue. Have to be partial on this one as my baby wears BLUE. I know it will be a GREAT game. The game is scheduled for Friday night in Breckenridge at 0730. We look forward to seeing many of you there.

Mark has had a couple of really good days. He finished his last chemo dose on Wednesday. On that day he also quit taking some of the medicine to help him sleep. He feels much better. He felt like the medicine was keeping him in a "fog" all the time ( a very sleepy one at that!) Whatever we attribute it to, he is having a much better week. Thanksgiving was nice. (aside from getting called in to work and missing the Himmels Thanksgiving!) God provides and obviously knew that I did not need to eat TWO thanksgiving meals in one day! Mark and the kids enjoyed visiting with my family and we had a good time with family in Munday as well.
Congrats to Heather and Shannon on their new house. I wish we were closer to help you with all that wallpaper stripping! You will be so proud when it is done and it will be beautiful.

Love to all, Missy

Just catching up.

I have been wanting to put these pics on because we have had such fun with these things and we hadn't been able to share them with many. Abby absolutely loves the kittens. There are four in the pictures. They just got the boot from the barn because the chickens arrived this Thursday. I am pretty certain cats ans baby chicks should not co-habitate! We are hoping for the return of the pretty white kitty. Abby let's them out in the morning before school and we usually put them up on our way to work. The white kitty slipped away yesterday We are hoping she is just out cattin' around!

The Halloween pic's were of Landon and Abby. (That would be Landon's bask side you are looking at!) I wish you could have seen Landon going door to door backwards! He definitely played the part of the backwards man. He schemed it up on his own and had a little help from Uncle Chris and Aunt Donna. Thanks to Granny also for the old shoes we cut up to complete the look. Abby wanted to be a mummy. Just one more thing I did not get done before Mark's surgery. We did make it in time for trick or treating though. We had lots of fun, putting it together, by it kind of reminded me of a Scooby Doo cartooned. She was largely unravelled and exposed by night's end.

An update on the flyer I posted. We are very thankful for the reponse that has come from so many. I know that there have been many calls made. The organizers want to made sure they have everything together following the busy holiday. If you have contacted them about a silent austion item, could you please get with them with your final information by Tuesday Nov. 23rd. I know they are working so hard and this would allow them more time to be with their families to celebrate a very special holiday.

Mark is doing about the same, Still seems to be resting well, but the chemo has him kind of worn down. He finishes up next week just before Thanksgiving. We are hopeful side effects don't hang around long so he will get a good week off.

Congrats Trojans. We made the trip to Abilene to see Windthorst get a pretty convincing win over McCamey. This set them up for a rematch with AC next week. Lucky for us on the travel end! Austin really enjoyed himself. It is great to watch him being a part of it all. Jace, thanks for the hospitality. We enjoyed getting to visit and wish you the best.

So much to do and so little time!. Love to all, Missy

Just to let you know....

Some friends of ours approached us recently about having a game night in support of Mark and I. They requested I put this notice on the blog so that anyone who might want to participate would have the chance. Please do not feel any obligation. So many of you are doing so much already by praying us through a difficult time and helping out wherever we have a need. We are blessed so abundantly by support from all of you.

The cost of the meal is donation only. I really do not have any details as I haven't been involved in the planning, so for any questions, please notify any of the people listed below. We are surrounded by a community of such great people. So much so that I am forced to learn more lessons the hard way. This one being to have peace in accepting God's blessings through other people! Just like PATIENCE, it is a lesson that doesn't come easy for me (actually worse than patience I believe!). But I work hard to see all of the help as another reminder that we never walk alone. He carries out the plan the way He sees fit, and He is good all the time.
Love and blessing to all of you, Missy

Oh heck!. I can't make it work. Should have known this wouldn't be easy. I'll keep working on it.....

Finally. Here it is.

Beautiful Weekend.

Donna and Chris were here for several days and it was a great weekend for cleaning and organizing and decluttering and getting rid of stuff. I think if you haven't seen it in years and didn't even remember you had it, you can definitely get RID of it. And, the good Lord knows I don't have energy for garage sales so someone will benefit greatly from some FREE stuff. Funny, FREE tends to be my middle name, but space is a bigger priority right now!!! One room at a time we will get it taken care of. It was so great to have help with that also. The motivation is HUGE.

Mark had a pretty sluggish weekend. I have been seeing improvement, but he hasn't really been feeling it so much until TODAY!!! Today he says he actually woke up and felt RESTED. WOOOHOOOOO!!! There are several positives since last Wednesday. Mark is less anxious, less restless and hurting less. He resting more soundly. The down side is that while I see these things, until today, he hasn't been feeling the effects of the positives. Each day will get better. The other thing that comes in to play is that he his back on chemo now. While some medicine is helping, some of the sluggishness is likely coming from starting the new round of chemo. So - We haven't found the WIN-WIN yet. Such is LIFE.

The kids had a good weekend as well. Four new kittens keep ABBY busy (as well as keeps her allergies very active!) Thanks to Uncle Danny for helping get the pens ready for the chickens. Birds come this week!!

Love to all, Missy

It's the weekend!

Praise the Lord. So glad it is here! I've started trying to be productive. We are overhauling the boys room. Oh what a mess! Some of this has just got to go!

Yeah, Mark rested a little better last pm and seems to be doing okay this evening as well. Hoping each day will be better still.

Best wishes and lots of prayers for a great recovery for our niece, Heather. She had surgery this afternoon to repair a ruptured disc in her back. I hope you woke up with much less pain and are back to yourself in no time.

Be sure to cuddle up and keep warm! Love to all, Missy

Doctor's appointment

I have such good intentions of posting every time we come home from the doctor! Invariably, I never even make it to the computer!

We had a good visit with Dr. McCollum yesterday. He listens so intently to us and always seems to have the right things to say. You might have picked up that we have met a few challenges over the last two weeks. Mark has been struggling with energy, sleeping, anxiety and restlessness, appetite, motivation, and a nagging intermittent discomfort which enhances several of the other symptoms. Overcoming our initial fears of having something medical complicating his recovery we are now faced with the task of having to dig - just a little deeper. Dr. McCollum reassured Mark that everything he was experiencing was so very expected and normal. He reminded him that he suffered a huge blow a couple of weeks ago, one that requires him to re look at some of his goals going forward. For so many of us, it is a reminder that he really is human! For so long he has kept our spirits high and our hearts just a little less heavy by his ability to carry this cross over the last couple of years with such grace and strength. Dr. McCollum has much confidence in him getting back to himself before too long, but warned that these highs and lows will present again and can be even more exaggerated.

I tend to shy away from this blog when I can't just lift you up with something, but I mention these things not to make you sad, but to give you another specific focus for prayer. I think that visiting with Dr. McCollum yesterday made Mark relax just a little bit, reaffirming that with a little work, this too will get easier. While these symptoms are normal, he does agree that he would probably not be struggling so with them if he were getting better rest. So he is giving him medicine that he feels will remedy his sleeping and in turn many of the other things.

That being said, treatment wise, he has started all over with a new regimen. They worked Mark in for his IV Avastin yesterday. That is the drug that enhances the effectiveness of the Xeloda that he will be taking by mouth. He will take a total of 7 pills a day for two weeks and then get a week off. So we will go to Dallas in three week cycles. He will stay on this regimen for as long as it is working to control progression which he will monitor with scans. The biggest side effects are bowel related and hand issues. Not so much the neuropathy that he had before but sensitivity and skin integrity. Mark did this regimen in '08 prior to his first surgery to remove the cancer. He tolerated it very well at that time.

Mark had a pretty good day yesterday after leaving the doctor. We stopped and had a very nice lunch. You know the kind where you are miserably "starving" and then you are miserably STUFFED! It is good to see him eat well. We have also been in the market for a new bed, so it was a perfect time to stop at the mattress place just after filling our bellies! No new bed, but stretching out to try them was nice! AAAhhhh - the simple things!

Love you all, Missy

Many Thanks

To all of our friends who made Sunday possible. It was so good to see everyone, and what a beautiful day. The food was awesome as well. Thanks Donnie and all the great cooks! We really miss getting to see everyone. It should make you feel good to know that a couple of Mark's best moments lately came that day. I think he felt on top of the world getting the Jeep out of the garage. And it was unbelievable how relaxed and "himself" he was on the 4wheeler ride! Any one watching would never dream he was sick!

Today brought another great moment for me. We got to eat again with Grandma and Grandpa Berend today. Mark ate a full meal, with seconds, and dessert! He hasn't had much appetite, so it was nice to see a glimpse of "normal" for a bit. We have been very blessed by gifts of great food. God is so great in His timing. It seems that food just seems to show up right before my time with Grandma and Grandpa. It has allowed our whole family some quality time with them. Good times and great memories.

Congrats Trojanettes for your 3 game victory over Poolville this evening. Good luck in Lubbock.
Trojans play in Abilene on Nov 19th

Please pray for good sleep. Mark is struggling to get there and we have a very early morning. Headed to Dallas tomorrow. Really have no clue what the day will bring. We will let you know.

Much love, Missy

Daily challenges.

Day by day. Keep the prayers coming, with special focus on keeping our eyes fixed on the sky. The clouds are pretty thick some days. It can be challenging to focus if the brighter days do not shine through! Oncology appointment this week Wednesday.

Grandaddy is home and doing well. Hoping he will feel like a million bucks with his new pacemaker. Extra prayers for my cousin Marsha who is faced with new health issues. Many special blessings for the Tina Neeb Family. May all be comforted and lifted up during these very difficult days.

Go Grandma! Woohoo. Grandma Berend is doing so well at home. She is an awesome amazing woman. She has worked so hard on her recovery and has done everything that everyone has told her to. What a fabulous example of strength and faith she is to me. I see that I only think I know what patience is when I watch what she has been doing over the last several months.

Love to all, Missy

1 Week later

We have been home just over a week now. Mark is a little frustrated that he has not bounced back quite like he is used to. I have been a little worried also as he has definitely not been himself. The good news is that he is sleeping better at nighttime. In fact, he feels as if he is sleeping all the time. His energy level has dropped off considerably since coming home. We did repeat his labwork yesterday, and everything appears to be back to pre-surgery status there. That made me feel a little better to know, so now I feel more comfortable telling him he is going to have to commit to getting extra rest for as long as it takes. (Not the advice he wants to hear!)

He lacks an appetite, but has been forcing himself to eat. (with a little encouraging) We have talked about trying to come up with the perfect menu, knowing how important that is to his health. I must say that is challenging to say the least. There are a great number of "cancer" menus as well as "j-pouch" meal plans, but I haven't quite come up with what the heck to do for the combined issues. And, throw in the latest gastrojejunostomy and it becomes totally beyond me! How food will affect him is so unpredictable, and foods that are best for cancer patients aren't always the best for j-pouch patients. The only guidelines we have so far are stay away from sugar (which happens to be a favorite!) and eat lots of asparagus (which he seems to be okay with). Any nutritionists out there who want to take on a project???!!!!

Mark did get to go to Munday this week for Austin's game and a family visit. On Friday, he made it through 3 quarters of the football game. Sorry all you Mundayites but GO TROJANS! On Saturday, he watched Landon play baseball and of course through the weekend sufferd through the world series! He also got a surprise visit from some high school classmates on Sunday. Thanks to Kregg and Kelly. He really enjoyed seeing you and reminiscing.

Looking forward, Mark has an appointment in Dallas on November 10th.The oncologist has given us a preliminary plan of maintenance chemotherapy that he will alternate with aggressive treatment if there is change based on subsequent scans. I am sure we will fine tune all of that when we see him. We have also been given a multitude of alternatives to look into. We are so thankful to have so many people who care and offer suggestions. I have begun trying to research numerous possibilities, but mostly I feel like the answer is going to come through lots of prayer. I said once before that I don't think God intends for us to go to the end of the world, or to spend all of our time and energy and money finding the "cure" for Mark. (Especially since many incredibly smart people haven't found it yet!) I believe that if we do our part, He is going to bring the answers to us. Our part, right now, is to lean on Him when we are weary and don't know what in the world to do next. We absolutely have to leave it in His hands because we are only human and our mortal existence will only carry us a short distance.

You can't imagine the love we have for you all. We are so grateful for each of you and all you do for us. Missy